It's my first day...
I have me a job. Yesterday was my first day! Should you want to read up on it, you have but to click the following lj-cut link!


Ye Gory Details Of My First Day At CS&S Computers!

Chapter One: A Dream Of Freedom

I left early in the morning, nearly an hour before I had to be there. I knew damn well that traffic wasn't going to cooperate. How right I was, because the Eye Ten was backed up starting in between Warner and Elliot Roads. Traffic flowed smoothly though, and I was able to make it to the main intersection of University Drive and Fifty Second Street as indicated by the glorious Google Maps map that was printed out for me the day before. But oh ho, dear reader, this is where the plot thickens.

Upon nearing the intersection, I kept my eyes peeled for West 1930. It would not acquiesce so easily, however, as I passed by 2000, and was shocked to see the street addresses drop off to 1900. "I must be too far east." I thought, as I eyed the map again. "I will keep going, just a little further, even though it seems backwards." Lo and behold, 1930 West University Drive was nowhere to be found on University Drive! I pulled into the 1900 building complex, inferring that perhaps this is one of those tricks they do to people whose first time it is to visit. I was correct, and as I drove aimlessly around the buildings, a strange pattern began to emerge. The parking spaces all were labeled "For 1900 Parking Only". "How very queer," I thought to myself, "Perhaps they are trying to trick me." Not one to be one-upped on my first day, I crossed the street. Clearly the map was wrong, and with time ticking down until 8:00 AM, I had to think fast. "Yeah..crossing the street will do nicely!" Or so I thought. On the other side of the street, the numbers were completely out of whack. They were all in the 800s, which told me that I had reverted from West to South and that there was clearly an alien conspiracy preventing me from getting to work! Finally, in desparation, I 411'ed the address (Unfortunately, they didn't prepare me with a phone number) and got ahold of a fine young chap who directed me exactly where I needed to go. "How very VERY odd." I thought to myself again. "This University Drive address is actually on 52nd Street!" No matter, I had made it, and despite my wild goose chase, I was only five minutes late.

But this is where the plot thickens some more, like a stew after it has bubbled away most of its runniness in an aromatic steamy cloud of goodness.

Smack in the face of all the doors read the following not-so-comforting declaration: 'AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY! All visitors must obtain clearance at security!' "Damnit, damnit!" I found myself exclaiming. "Now I have to find security, and authorize my own personnel." I walked around the parking lot aimlessly looking for any vestiges of what could point me in the right direction; perhaps a kiosk or booth with a lonesome man sitting in it reading the paper. No such luck. Eventually I gave up and walked into the only unlocked door I could find, and entered, hoping that the people inside would be able to take care of me. At the relations desk, I found the same young chap I had spoken to earlier, and inquired as to where I might go to become an authorized personnel. After an exchange of blank stares between me, this guy, and his female coworker posted to his immediate left, I ultimately received the sound information to go back to where I was and enter in Door C. Very well, I thought. I have been running around, but now the solution to my problems lies behind Door Number C. Oh wait, C is not a number. After quickly running back, I found Door C to be quite foreboding with the same message as all the other doors about authorized personnel, but it was quite unlocked. Inside, I found a hallway, which lead to another hallway going in another direction. That hallway then lead to yet another hallway going in yet another direction, and that hallway eventually lead to a hallway with open doors. In one of these doors, I found another living soul who then proceeded to give me the same blank stare I had received earlier. Sadly for me, this would not be the last time I had to see the blank stare. The lady ever so kindly pointed me in the general direction of which I came, and though at this point I had become quite frustrated with the situation, I decided to make my way back. And then, my salvation finally came. The long lost security guard approached me, and asked me where I needed to be. Not only did he direct me to where I needed to be, he didn't give me the blank stare. Hallelujah! I have finally seen the light, and I might now finally get to start my first day!

Chapter Two: I Can't Believe You Don't Shut Up

I came. I saw. I knocked. Magically, the door was opened. I told the older man who answered the door about my predicament, and that I was here to start working today. He had me sign in, hand over my license, and lead me to the warehouse in which I would be doing my work. Sadly for me, I didn't start work quite yet. As I began to explain mty same situation to the people in the warehouse, I received a collective round of those abhorrent blank stares from all these people as well! Apparently, none of them had been informed that a new person was starting today, and worst of all, the person I was supposed to meet up with originally was nowhere to be found! As I stood there, waiting for this bunch of people to pull their collective heads out of their asses, I soon realized that the person that I would now have to report to wasn't even in this building. "Oh my effing God!" I wanted to scream. But I didn't. Rather, I was given a crudely drawn map of where I needed to go to meet with who would be my supervisor, and told to go.

And I was going to go. I got my license back, left Door A of "1930 West University" (quotes intentional), and got in my car.

And then I received a phone call. It was Derrick Hart. He called me because he learned, somehow, of the crazy looniness that was going on. Fortunately, he was here to help. I told him what had happened up to this point, and he told me to not go anywhere else, but rather stay put. I seem to not be able to get a straight answer out of anyone, so I followed the instructions of the Temp Man, since after all, I work for the Temp agency officially. I went back to Door A, told the old man what I was to do, and I sat down. I had some coffee. I waited. I looked through a motorcycle part catalog. I waited. I analyzed the intricate workings of a 5-speed motorcycle transmission and those awesome 2-cylinder engines. I waited. And I waited

And I waited some more.

I waited a full hour. Add that to the time I had spent wandering around, and it was a full hour and a half after I was due to start before I actually started. And when I got there...

Chapter Three: And What Does This Button Do?

And when I got there, I stood. I met Doug, who is the sub-supervisor for only four more days. I met Michael. No wait, scratch that. I did not meet Michael. I was told his name. I was also told some other names, but I cannot remember them at this time. After being lightly introduced, I stood. Doug worked, and I stood. Finally, Doug found something for me to do. "YES, FINALLY!" I thought. "It sure will be exciting, I hope!" As a matter of fact, I was so bored and dejected from the first two hours that I welcomed anything, no matter how droll it may have been. It turned out not to be so. I had to crack open some NEC phones, and remove speaker chips from them. Most of the phones already had the speaker chips removed, so that made things go faster. Those speaker chips were hard to pry loose! I managed, and I worked deftly. Upon confirming that the chips were indeed absent, I placed the phones ever so gingerly in a box. Once I did all the phones with no boxes, I had to go through the phones that were in boxes and do the same thing. Crack the phone open, check it for chip, close the phone back up. Put it back in the box. Unfortunately, taking the phones out and putting them back in the boxes actually took longer than opening them and removing the chips. Shame shame, but no matter. An hour later, I had cracked open about 40 phones, and in all of them, I had...five speaker chips. I didn't (and still don't) know what the purpose of it was, but then again, as the new guy, what do I know?

And then I stood. I waited. I stood around and I waited some more. Time seemed to tick by slowly on this first day, but no matter. I stood for a little while longer, until I was given some inventory work to do! "Hooray!" I thought, "I get do type stuff and learn all new programs and systems!" No. No I did not. The systems and programs training will have to wait, because all I did was to manually look at each box, and write down a serial number. Once done, I reported back to my original supervisor whom I met earlier. She directed me into the office part of the warehouse where I searched far and wide in a maze of cubicles for the copying machine. Upon finally finding the copying machine, I noticed an interesting quirk. Rather, it was something that was wrong with it, but then again, everything else had gone wrong today, so what did it matter. The side of the copy machine was pryed open, and it was displaying an error message as a result. Being the resourceful person I am, I read the details of the error message and learned where the machine was messed up. I didn't fix it, but I did hold the side closed as I did what I needed to do.

"Damn...this kinda sucks...at least I am intelligent enough to deal with it..."

Upon retrieving my copies, I reported them to where they needed to go. And then I was told to stack the boxes I had just inventoried and put them away.

And then I realized an amazing revelation. This job, when I figure it out, will not be so bad. It is always the kind of job I wanted...where I can be alone and do my thing. This is the kind of job where I will come in, be given my work or assignment, and I will put on my headphones and do it! (I don't know if headphones are allowed, but no matter now.) Once I learn the ropes, I will get this gray-collar job down nicely, and it won't be so bad a place to go everyday...especially because the only people I will be dealing with will be the coworkers. And once they have their heads out of their asses, I can see their faces. And they aren't that bad a bunch of people.

Time for lunch now. I went. I left. I called my temp agency representative back, and informed him of the situation. He reassured that I had found the right spot, and the originally ordained supervisor was actually wrong. Wouldn't the first disappointment I had that day, so no matter. I ate lunch at Dilly's Deli, and came back.

When I got back, I was surprised to see that they actually had work for me! I was to do something more interesting and fun than looking at invoices and part numbers now! I would be doing something a bit more technical; I would be cleaning chips and prepping them for UV irradiation, for the purposes of erasing them. I knew how Flash memory of this nature worked, and it surprised me that something I had read once would actually apply to me at that time! So I sat. No more standing; now I had actual work to do. I scraped the labels off, used solvent to de-goop the goopy crap that the labels left behind. I placed the clean chips into a UV light bed (not unlike a tanning salon bed) and flashed the Flash memory away!
Once that was done, I proceeded to test the chips to make sure they were all actually erased. Of all the chips I tested, none were not erased! Finally, I had a real task to do, and real work to get done! "And now, it is not so crappy" I thought. For the remainder of the day, I did this chip cleaning and testing cycle. There were a lot of chips, and I really had to make sure they were clean. I did, right up until five.

And then I left.

Epilogue:

The day went from 'suck' to 'what' to 'meh' to 'cool.' And despite how it started, it was all and all not a bad first day! I know that I have a lot to learn, and because this job seems to offer so many different things for me to do, I know I won't get bored! And for that, I can release an emphatic 'Woo Hoo!' And so I will!

There is one thing that I fear I will grow to hate. I really wish this job were not first shift, because I know that grappling with traffic in the morning and evenings will really grow to suck major oranges very quicky for me. But as I said before, no matter.


Yes, it is a very long story.