Health Insurances...
I applied for the super-basic health insurance through Humana. It will cost me about -$70 a month to be covered, thanks to my wonderful employer. As I was reading through the details and fine print of the plan, I saw that the following is not covered by my health insurance, pending my approval:

"...War or any act of war, whether declared or not..."

I was surely hoping that when I go screaming headlong into the Land of the Commies exacting my own particularly vengeful brand of freedom-spreading and I were to suffer from some slight cuts and bruises, they'd cover me, but alas...